If You Poke the Nest, Expect Some Buzzing
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
Kids are playing in the park. Other kids come along and want to take their sandbox away, so they start taunting and threatening them. When the kids, who at first tried to include them in their games and then ignore them when it was clear that is not what they wanted, are finally goaded into responding the bullies then accuse them of being angry and violent and not understanding what was said.
Now that some polytheists are coming forward to express hurt and anger at the things Rhyd said in his article his buddies are jumping in to tell us to chill out and shut up and that what everyone saw in that piece wasn’t actually there.
Here are some snippets from one of the many, many places where this despicable gaslighting and tone-policing is going on:
Its about the ‘New Right’ article that was published on G&R the other day. Some folks apparently can’t read without inserting their own narrative into things.
As to the community hyperbole, grains of truth always cause discomfort.
It’s a case of “if the cap fits, wear it” – and if it doesn’t, then calm down.
Amen! This is going to be a looooong year. The ugly rhetoric is triggered by the most innocuous posts. Getting very old already.
Is it bad to say that I am really glad I have actually important things to worry about and work to tend to, given the circumstances, so I give no fucks for the bullshit spewing from every direction on this one.
Enough of this “boys will be boys,” “but I said I was sorry” bullshit. Take responsibility for your actions people. Just because you didn’t mean to hurt/trigger/threaten/offend someone doesn’t take away from the fact that you did so. Harm is not something a perpetrator gets to decide on. Harm is a subjective experience determined by the person experiencing it. Sometimes that harm is obvious and understandable, sometimes you have to squint and twist yourself like the Gordian Knot to figure out what the hell happened. Regardless, if someone says you violated their safe space then you did so and need to accept the consequences. That means genuinely admitting wrongdoing (or genuinely working to understand why your victim felt harmed and then sincerely apologizing for that harm) and working on making sure it doesn’t happen again. Safe space has to be maintained with sincerity by everyone in it or it falls apart.
You do not get to decide whether our anger at your bullying smear campaign is justified or not and we sure as Hel will not be silenced because you find it inconvenient to consider the consequences of your words.