I don’t pray enough

This has been something that I’ve been working on for years. I was really, really fortunate, that I had very good devotional models. Prayer was something that was present in my childhood home, and I was taught to pray; moreover, I was taught to pray outside of ritual space. It was never something reserved for special occasions and I’m deeply grateful for that. Lately I’ve found myself reading more on prayer and how to do it more deeply. How deep can one go into the experience of one’s God? I would throw myself into that experience until the point of dissolution and beyond. I know intellectually that it’s regular prayer that paves the way for such rich and richly transformative experiences, but I do so want to run well before I can even crawl in this particular case! How can one be patient? But then again, how can one not? Odin’s very presence lures one into wanting more and doing the contemplative work that is necessary for that “more” to happen. The medieval mystics termed this raptus, the painful pleasure of being seized up by one’s God, transported beyond regular headspace, and given a taste of Divine Presence. Give me more is the prayer I want to make. Thank you is the one that I do actually say. 

My husband spent months this past year going through medieval texts in a plethora of languages from Latin and Greek,  to Old Norse, Old English, Middle High German, to Ukrainian and more. He put together a collection of charms and prayers for me, all drawn from lore, all Odin-centric. Using this, I kind of feel like I’ve crossed a bit of a Rubicon recently and have made improvements. With Odin, I always feel this push to the Work. It’s difficult for me to slow down, enter into contemplation, and deep, deep prayer. Instead of pushing forward into the Work, reaching out for HIs presence and riding that, I’ve had to consciously teach myself to stop, sit, and wrap HIs presence around me like a cloak. I still travel. I still work but it’s the work of self-formation, and paving the path toward better service and comprehension of Him. His presence is such a palpable thing, and it inspires, no matter how hard this process can become, and I think with any Deity it can be very difficult indeed. It is the thing in which we must be uncompromising: committing to the formation of ourselves, our souls by the Gods and for the Gods and getting about our sacred Work accordingly. 

Right now, I have a fairly solid morning routine (though sometimes I do it late morning rather than first thing). I also have a fairly solid evening routine. I”m hoping to fill every other moment of the day with ongoing prayer and contemplation. After all, I very much agree with our monastics: