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A PSA for all my Readers who are in School

The autumn term started for me last week and already its pace is frenetic. I love my studies but adapting to my new schedule is a bit like being punched in the face. As I see incoming freshmen and new grad students, taste their excitement and also their nervousness I wanted to reach out to those of you, my readers, who may also be heading back into academia’s hallowed halls (or to vocational school, apprenticeships, etc.).

Where ever you’re going, know that you belong. Imposter syndrome is something we all often wrestle with, no matter what our academic or technical qualifications. I’m going to let you in on a little secret that I learned about six weeks into my first MA: no one in your year group knows any more than you do. Lol They’re ALL feeling just as insecure and challenged. They may be hiding it better, but you are in no way alone in any uncertainties you might be feeling. Persevere. You CAN do this. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to other grad students, your advisor, and campus counseling. That’s what they’re there for and with your peers especially, we’ve all been there. We may be crazy-busy, but most grad students I know are more than happy to lend an ear to newcomers. Don’t be afraid to rely on the resources available to you. Also, make sure you have a good support network. School can be really stressful (when the term started, I looked at my husband and said ‘nice knowing you. See you in December. LOL, which is funny and yes, I was joking, but the number of hours and stress we put in can really strain relationships). Don’t neglect your most important relationships. You may not have a lot of down time, but cherish that which you do.

If you have learning disabilities, (I do, I have dyscalculia) anxiety disorder, chronic pain, physical impairments of any sort please, please register with your office of disability services. It’s usually pretty easy to do and it will allow your professors to provide accommodations that you may need as the semester progresses. Don’t be embarrassed to do this and don’t put it off. This office is there to ensure that you have the most productive semester you can possibly have, and more importantly, to ensure that the university complies with all legal requirements related to disability. This benefits you – take advantage of it.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and for those of you in grad school, I’m going to tell you what I wish someone had told me from day one: this is your career. It’s never too early to start treating it in that light. There’s a wonderful book that I highly recommend (read it sooner than later – I really, really wish I’d found it when I started back to school) called “The Professor is In.” it gives invaluable advice on navigating the often-confusing terrain of academic life from graduate school to professorship. The author (bless her!) also has a very active blog and it is really a god-send. You can check that out here. She gives advice on everything from how to dress for success, to writing a book review, a CV, to your first job interview and more. I recommend this site to everyone, not just academics. It’s been life-changing for me.

Here’s some advice that you probably won’t take, that I should take more of, and that I’m going to say anyway: GET REGULAR SLEEP and don’t stint on meals. For me, this is crucial as lack of regular sleep can tip me over into migraine territory at the drop of a hat. But this is something that is important not just for those of us with chronic pain. You’ll do better in your studies if you sleep. For years, I lived on about four hours of sleep a night. It was my husband who pointed out that this contributed to my migraines. It killed me to admit it, but he was right. It also stunned me at how much more I could remember from studying when I got 6-9 hours of sleep a night (chronic pain makes sleep problematic, but for those of you in the same boat as I am, do your best). Do not stay up all hours cramming. Do not wait to the day before a test and pull an all-nighter. Nothing is more important than getting regular sleep. Nothing. Nutrition and exercise are important too – again, do your best as the semester progresses – but sleep is the most important gift you can give yourself. Naps are your friend.

Finally, work as hard as you can but if you’ve given your best and still get a less than perfect grade, that’s OK. A bad grade will not kill you. It will not ruin your future. I got into my top choice PhD program with two poor grades on my transcript (in both cases, I knew the class would be really challenging and had taken it for the challenge, because I knew that while I wouldn’t do well, I would learn and get better in that subject, and I did. I can honestly say in both, I gave my best effort). Don’t slack off, but don’t think you have to be always and ever absolutely perfect.

Academia is a weird little world, just like any other vocational setting. Each department has its own unique culture. You’ll find your way. Just remember: you belong, just as much as anyone else there. Don’t ever forget that.

Good luck with your studies, my readers and for those of you not in academia or going back to school in some way, but who have people you care about who are, well, maybe taken them food once in a while (Seriously. There is nothing better than coming home from class utterly exhausted and not having to cook) and understand that they’re not avoiding you. They’re just exhausted and probably overwhelmed with work. Seriously, feed them once in a while! ^_^ They will thank you for it and just knowing that you are there and understand and support them can make all the difference in the world.

And remember: 

phd blabber

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Lemur Update :)

This past year my household adopted a lemur through the Duke Lemur Center. (I have a soft spot for lemurs as my adopted mom’s nickname was ‘lemur’– mostly due to the black circles ever and always around her eyes lol– so odd as it might sound, they remind me of her). As part of the program, those who “adopt” receive regular updates on their lemur’s progress. We got one today which y’all can read here

And here is a picture of our lemur Pompeia. That is all. This is the first week of class and I am swamped. 

pompeia lemur

Wise words

“The first thing we ought to preach is reverence toward the gods. For it is fitting that we should perform our service to the gods as though they were themselves present with us and beheld us, and though not seen by us could direct their gaze, which is more powerful than any light, even as far as our hidden thoughts.” — Julian the Philosopher

Can’t recall where I found this, but it’s so true sometimes…

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Book Recommendation: New Book on Loki

Dagulf Loptson, author of “Playing with Fire: An Exploration of Loki” has a new book due out in 2020. I just received a preview copy and it looks amazing. It’s a good, solid introduction to Loki and a very nice follow up (though I don’t think it was meant that way) to “Playing with Fire.” The book is called Loki: Trickster and Transformer” and may be preordered here

Loki Appear flickering fire Encircle the rock with thy flame Loge Appear Arthur Rackham painting illustration 1910 The Rhinegold and the Valkyrie Richard Wagner cycle ring of the nibelung nibelungen rheingold walkure.jpg

In the meantime, maybe learn to read

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It’s done! *Whew*

I just returned home today and it’s done. I successfully defended my thesis “Less is More: Eunuchs, Self-Castration, Spiritual Eunuchism, and Mystical Castration from Tertullian to Cassian,” one hundred and ten pages of philological exegesis about the cultural poetics of the eunuch in early Christian culture and theology. As of about 12:30 today I have a Masters Degree in Medieval Studies. This is my second Masters, my first is in Religious Studies. Now it’s onward and upward to PhD work in the fall. Thanks to an awesome department, advisor, and reader for amazing support. Now I’m going to get a glass of wine. ^_^

QOTD

“Just because the Gods aren’t directly present to you, doesn’t mean they are scarce to others.”          —H. Jeremiah Lewis 

The Basics BEFORE the Basics

 

A (civil) discussion on twitter today got me thinking about our various traditions and one of the key things necessary in making them sustainable and inter-generational: namely, marrying other polytheists and raising your children as polytheists too — and I don’t think it matters which polytheism because that is a very particular lens through which to view the world and one’s relationships to the Powers and there are commonalities there in ways that there simply aren’t with monotheisms.

I’m always surprised at the push back I get on the idea that we should marry within our communities. Granted, now our communities are small but they will grow, with our cultivation. I should point out that early Christians had no trouble requiring their prospective spouses to convert…and while I don’t support proselytizing, I do support this. I’ve seen far too many people who find themselves in households where they have to hide, limit, or downplay their practices. I would at the very, very least have a marriage contract in place that stipulates to the religious upbringing of any and all children. Let me add that getting rid of an impious spouse who demands one hide one’s polytheism is, as a friend of mine would say, “addition by subtraction.” Christians have a term “unequally yoked” that I think applies here. It’s when the two partners are not on the same spiritual journey, are not of the same religion and thus cannot support each other in building a spiritually nourishing household effectively. It’s a terrible thing to be unequally yoked.

Even more push back comes at the thought of raising children in the faith. Why would you not do this? THIS even more than marrying other polytheists is so key, so fundamental to the future of our traditions that it just boggles my mind why someone would even consider doing otherwise. If you don’t love your Gods and you don’t want to see Their traditions grow, why are you here?

Of course, the argument always raised is ‘I don’t want to force my religion on my child’ but this is no argument at all.  Firstly, it is a parent’s duty to provide spiritual education. That is part and parcel of raising a healthy child just as one would instill proper virtue and understanding. Secondly, there are plenty of ways to raise a child in one’s faith without being abusive about it. Why not – and I mean this in all seriousness, because this is where I think the real issues lie—deal with the damage and wounds from your own religious upbringing instead of denying both your children and your Gods the blessing of a tradition? It should be unthinkable to raise our children any other way. If we do, we’re cutting off our traditions at their knees. Each generation has to retread ground those before them already walked (and we do this anyway by our disrespect toward the elders in our communities, by ignoring or pissing on their work, and by attempting to write them out of their own traditions’ histories).

Standards are not oppressive. I’m going to say that again for those of you in the back: standards are not oppressive, at least not if you want to accomplish something worthwhile. Moreover, we can in fact choose whom we love and with whom we spend the rest of our lives. It’s important to make good choices here. It’s not enough to love someone in the moment. One must consider making a life with that person and having children (if one wants children), and what one is willing to compromise upon and what one isn’t. Hopefully commitment to the Gods and Their traditions form an absolute hard line, a sine qua non in that equation.

Someone complained today that this separates groups into “us” vs. “them” and yes, it does. This does not mean that “they” are bad, just other, different, outside the community of faith and practice, and as lovely as they might be, potential dead weight in a relationship founded first and foremost in shared piety and love. One’s relationship with the Gods is always personal and needs to be nourished regularly but as religious people we are not separate from a community, hopefully one that is coalescing into a tradition. One of the greatest challenges facing us today as polytheists is how to ensure that our traditions are sustainable and we can work hard and do all we want as individuals but eventually unless we’re raising our children in the faith, we’re never going to get past the place that we’re at now. Only through inter-generational transmission of the tradition and love for the Gods is any community truly sustainable.

I’ve seen people talk about personal sovereignty, free will and such being important and they are. We have the free will to make good decisions, decisions that further our traditions, decisions that honor our Gods. Why is it so damned hard to put something other than ourselves first?

I’m only going to say this once

Ok, people. I think it’s time to lay something out for y’all. 

I’ve spent close to thirty years dealing with Heathen bullshit: people with their panties in a twist because they can’t accept that the Gods actually can impact our lives, actually can claim people, that devotion is important, that piety is more than just being able to read the lore, etc. etc. I’ve had people send threats (usually misspelled and with terrible grammar), make up stories (really creative ones in some cases, in others just sad), and lately some tumblristas have been spreading outright lies. I’ve had people who can’t stand the fact that a woman has opinions and won’t be swayed from them. I’ve had people who can’t stand the fact of my devotion to Odin and people who simply don’t like that I know their background and the lies they tell about themselves publicly. Lately I’ve been doxed several times. 

Now my husband and I are dealing with the same bullshit from the Hellenic community. Y’all are latecomers to the game. 

Here’s the thing though and here’s what none of you seem to grasp: you are irrelevant to us. There is literally nothing that you can possibly do that will keep us from our work. You and your opinions do not matter to us. We are building a tradition and doing the work the Gods have set for us to do and THAT is the only thing that matters: serving our Gods well. How seriously are we to take someone or something who tries to interfere with that? Y’all are trifling. 

And that, I think is the real reason that we get so much bullshit thrown our way: we will not be bullied or cowed into submission. We aren’t going to change our views or what we teach or how we venerate our Gods because any other living person has a problem with it. We aren’t going to pretend history didn’t happen. We aren’t going to elevate human opinions over right relationship with our Gods. EVER. 

So you have two choices: you can ignore us and stop obsessing over our blogs or you can keep at your bullshit knowing it’s about as effective as pissing in the wind.